


the moon is not only beautiful, it is so far away

by orancione



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, First Time, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 12:55:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11760339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orancione/pseuds/orancione
Summary: The year is 1964, and in the jungles of Russia, a girl loves a girl and a boy loves a boy (can I make it anymore obvious?). Eva and BB work through their gay feelings together, and Eva becomes the light to the Boss's final moments of life. This is a re-telling of MGS3, if The Boss and Eva, and BB and Ocelot were star-crossed lovers. Enjoy.





	the moon is not only beautiful, it is so far away

The first time it happens, it’s a look— simple and electric and Eva thinks about it all day. Eva is cooped up in her chamber once again, patiently stretched out on her sparse mattress. She waits until it is late enough for her to sneak back out into the darkness from within her tiny room in Grojzynyj Grad. It’s windowless, but she can sense by the haziness in the stale air that the humidity of the jungle is breaking, and the sun is beginning to set. She lies across her army green mattress, and takes a moment to unwind. She’s not been allotted much time to relax during her mission, but she takes this instance of solitude and relishes in it. Eva’s relative safety within the confines of her walls allows her to analyze her current situation. There isn’t enough time to fully process the grief or fear she felt that day watching Snake get electrocuted within an inch of his life by that hulking brute of a man, but she allows herself this much. 

Thinking back to earlier that afternoon, they were all convened in the small torture chamber kept off to the side of the base. The Boss was standing across the room from Eva, just to the left of Volgin. Snake was hanging limp from ropes in the center of the room, his sturdy frame hanging like a carcass. The Boss’s gaze met Eva’s eyes and lingered on her body until she turned her head away to face Snake once more. The Boss’ eyes had a hazy gleam to them, and she was always squinting slightly, as if furrowing her brows at anything someone other than her had said. But even then, there was, and is, a kindness and a gentleness in them that Eva was able to capture just for a moment. _Sympathy_ , she thinks, and her expression softens slightly. 

Ocelot, meanwhile, stood further back, so as to not get in the way of his superiors. He looked like a pre-teen cadet in comparison to their imposing frames, but he was not one to underestimate. Eva was almost certain that Ocelot saw her expression change just for a moment. Then, all at once, Volgin went at Snake, bellowing loudly as his voice filled the room. Her friend’s cries echoed in the small chamber, and for those few minutes, Eva felt a crisp and primal fear. The rest of it was mostly a blur, and she turned away from the sight of Snake’s torture. She kept her resolve, but she couldn’t help but think if she made any wrong move, it could just as easily be her tied up. Watching Snake lose an eye, not for any real reason, but for the thrill of violence spurred her on just enough to remain standing. She watched the others closely in order to see how they would respond, as he could no longer keep an eye out for himself.

Then all at once, the tension came to a head and it was over. Volgin was unable to crack him and he announced such while he gestured comically to the doorway. The Boss picked up on the message and followed Volgin out the door, with Ocelot trailing behind, and they were gone in a mere instant, leaving Eva alone. She collected herself and paused for a moment in fear, recalling the way the Boss seemed to look right through her. _Discovered just like that, huh._ She thought she could at least make it a week, if it got to that point, before her sneaking around caused any major hang-ups. _God, what a mess._ Eva’s heartbeat began to quicken and she felt a bit faint, so she quickly relayed her message to Snake. She promised to meet up later on with his gear before heading back out through the corridors to Tatyana’s small quarters to take a reprieve. 

Back in her room, Eva takes a few sips of water from a rusted old metal bottle, her fear fading into her regular state of unease as her mind begins to wander. She knew about the Boss’s reputation previously through rumours, and although the way the men spoke of her behind her back was rather rude, it wasn’t without a glint of truth. The sexual proclivities of the Boss were well-known to most anyone who worked with her, and she was known to be unabashed and forward in her relationships. She was equally well-known in her abilities as a leader and a combat expert, and it was this that Eva truly feared. She was a fair and patient mentor at the Philosopher’s academy, but she was never shy to lay down the law. Even with the time spent away from that environment there is no way the Boss couldn’t have recognized her and wouldn’t be willing to reprimand her for playing the double, actually triple, agent. _A pair of glasses stands between me and certain death_ , she thinks. _What a joke._

Eva allows herself a moment more of rest before she heads back out to meet Snake. As she leans down to place the meagre container of water beside her, she hears the sound of boot heels faintly clicking on the tile outside. Eva pays it little attention at first, as it’s common to hear the grunts on base marching along steadily in order to rush to their duties and to escape the violent outbursts of Volgin, or his pet, Raikov. The clicking soon grows louder and more intense, sending a chill down Eva’s spine. _Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit_ , she thinks to herself as the sound of heels increases in volume before stopping entirely, right outside of her room. It is definitely either Volgin or the Boss, or perhaps Ocelot, waiting outside her door and none of them are good news right now. Eva grounds herself and breathes deeply, in an attempt to calm her anxiety. She straightens her posture and pushes up her glasses to appear as banal as Tatyana. She figures it will appease Volgin, or at least maybe fool the Boss, but suddenly the footsteps start up again. They slowly retreat away from her door until they disappear entirely. Eva heaves a quiet sigh of relief, but she’s still unnerved by the thought of what exactly occurred. At worst, she’s dead meat, and at best… well, it is hard to say exactly what the Boss’s intentions are. The Boss is a brilliant woman and wise beyond her years, who has aged more than just gracefully. The objective of the mission is too dangerous for Eva to start having any crushes quite yet, but it doesn’t hurt her to consider it. She heads towards the north-west end of the base and towards the sewers with a feeling of dread mixed with a slight giddiness. During the walk over, she manages to avoid the Boss’s presence and enters the sewers with an unassuming ease. Walking past Volgin’s quarters, she hears his snores carry through the door, confirming in her mind that it was likely the Boss who paused outside her door. For what reason? She can’t ascertain it. 

Stepping out of her room to meet up with Snake made her anxiety lodge in her throat with a sharp and almost physically sickening pain. Remembering how she was punished by Volgin in the past for leaving her quarters without asking permission made her sick, however she had to do it for both of their sakes. Eva knew that her true mission was to betray Snake, but she also knew that her need to use Snake has grown into a sincere bond between the two. She had pitied him too much at first, and with time, he was one of the first friends she had who knew her struggle and her ache so earnestly. Compared to this, the physical and psychological abuse she would face for falling out of line is nothing, and so she keeps moving forwards regardless. Making her way through the halls, she comes up with every lame excuse to the guard’s questions and smiles blankly at their flirtatious waves. She struggles not to laugh at how easily they’re fooled by the thin veneer of her Tatyana act. 

She walks right past the grunts guarding the sewer entrance, and sweetly tells them that Volgin has demanded a glass of water for Raikov, and that he wants one of his foot soldiers to deliver it. Eager to please their boss, and avoid a reprimanding, they fight over the opportunity and both disappear into a nearby hangar to fetch a glass. Eva, somewhat shocked that that actually worked, coolly lifts off the manhole with her bare hands and enters the sewer down a long and rusted ladder. Outside of the gaze of the others on base, Eva feels like herself again as she moves swiftly through the debris of human waste and rust that surrounds her. Once she reaches the north-west exit, she slips outside and descends into the jungle before her. 

By then, it’s late in the evening and the sun has almost completely set, casting a warm yellow hue over the jungle in front of her. The humidity has begun to drop, leaving spots of dew on the foliage around her. As she stealthily disappears into the cover of the underbrush, she sheds her jacket and ties it around her waist, while tucking her glasses into the rim of her shirt collar. The beauty of the expanse of jungle stretched out around her makes her feel incredibly small, but content. Her exhaustion mingles with the joy of being momentarily free, and she smiles a little as she makes her way towards the waterfall to collect their supplies. Tucking her worries about Snake being left behind at the base away for a second, Eva takes in the delicate romance of the forest. Thinking back to her interaction with the Boss today, she’s almost certain that she felt a spark, but it was always so hard to tell. She figured it must be obvious to everyone around them what transpired today, like how Ocelot is always so obvious around Snake. _Oooo Snake, you American dog!_ , she thinks, mocking him in jest. _Tell me again about the issues with my revolver…_ Ocelot is always so flirty around him; it’s such a shame that Snake is terminally oblivious to even the vaguest come on. This was just as fine, as turning on her charms for the sake of a man was the most despicable part of her job anyways. It was supposed to be a part of her mission to flirt with Snake, but she soon realized he could care less about her romantically, so they became friends instead. As partners on equal footing with each other, they were a much stronger team than they would have ever been as a couple. While reminiscing, Eva finally makes it most of the way to their hideout and stops for a drink of water. She receives a call from Snake almost immediately: 

“Hey Eva”, Snake states in his usual monotone.  
“Snake!? Geez, thanks for letting me know you were okay.”  
“But Eva, I haven’t called you for at least a half hour… maybe more.”  
“Yes, Snake, I know. I was being sarcastic.”  
“Oh.” Sarcasm was not Snake’s strong suit, and neither was understanding tone in conversation.  
“Anyways! Are you in any danger? Why couldn’t you contact me?”  
“Uh, I had a pretty freaky encounter.” Snake recalls, thinking about all those ghosts he just saw.  
“What does that mean?”  
“Nevermind, the important part is that I’m safe.”  
“Yes, of course”  
“And I jumped into the river from the drainage pipe.”  
“You what?!”  
“Yeah, I almost drowned. It was pretty wild.”  
“Wait, the river… Snake that’s great! Stay where you are!”  
“I.. Okay.”  
“There’s a cave nearby, a bit upstream from the river by the waterfall, where we can have a debriefing”  
“What’s that?”  
Eva sighs and tries again. “There’s a cave nearby, a bit upstream from the river by the waterfall, where we can have a campfire.”  
“Oh good!”  
“Alright, sit tight. I’ll be there soon with your supplies.”  
“See you soon.”

After hanging up, Eva collects their bags and provisions, packs them onto her bike and heads out. She figured Snake would know what a debriefing was given his almost lifetime experience as a soldier and a spy, but he must have just been playing dumb, right? She was planning on setting up a meeting to grill him about Ocelot, just in case the information became relevant to her, and also to help Snake out since he was clearly not getting the message. _Poor Ocelot_ , she thinks to herself. He was more than a bit of a snake himself, and he definitely had a vicious streak, but she could deeply relate to his difficulties with being both openly gay and in the army. Her experiences with government work, both legal and illegal, were marked with scathing homophobic remarks from her old peers, and she would be lying if she didn’t crave some comradery, even among snakes and liars. She makes her way to the campsite, sighing as the cold wind rushes by her on her bike.

By then, night has fallen and a somber cool passes over the whole forest. The area downriver is bathed in moonlight and a light breeze makes the usually unbearable heat liveable. She scampers down the cliff and arrives at the cave behind the waterfall. She sets up camp, bringing out two separate sleeping bags for her and Snake. Her stomach rumbles slightly, and she hopes Snake has the catch of the day with him, even if that means it’s reticulated python for dinner again. Eva has just gotten the fire ready and is sitting in her sleeping bag when Snake saunters into the camp, covered in filth from the day. Before she can open her mouth to say hello to him, he takes a running jump and launches himself into the river to wash off the dirt. After surfacing from the water, and clinging to a nearby tree stump, he flings himself back out onto the ground.

“Nice to meet you again, Snake.” Eva states, relieved that he’s cleaned up a bit. “Your equipment is in the back, and I’ve set up some canteens for us full of clean water.”  
“Thanks Eva, could I get a towel?”  
“You can find towels in the equipment bag near the back, Snake.”  
“Oh, uh thanks.”  
“You’re welcome.” Eva smiles a bit too widely as she says it, which is… more than a little off-putting.  
“And here’s an eye patch for the injury you sustained today.. I hope it will suffice.”  
“Thanks… again. Eva, is there any reason why you did all this?”  
“I’m glad that you asked! Snake, may I call you that? We’re going to have a conversation.”  
“Snake is fine”, it was rare that Snake was asked about his preferred name, but knowing that Eva was supportive of him made him feel a little more comfortable. “…and about what?”  
“Well, it’s relevant to the mission to know how we feel about our enemies… and our comrades.”  
Snake laughed and shook his head a little. “Eva, I’m sorry, but I already told you. I have no interest in you, not because of your personality but–”  
“What.”  
“It’s not you! It’s me, I’m just not very uh, attracted to women is all.”  
“Snake! I’m aware of that.”, Eva spits the words out in frustration. It really is like talking to a brick wall. “I was just wondering what your, you know, feelings towards Ocelot were.”  
“Oh! Well, we’re just good acquaintances.”  
“Is that all?” She’s a bit dumbfounded.  
“As far as I know, he’s been nothing but an ample fighter, and a solid comrade.” Snake erupts in a warm smile when he says it.

“Huh. Really.” Eva pauses for a moment; she never really thought about how to tease an answer out of him ahead of time. Truth be told, she thought it would be easier than this. “Do you think he feels the same way?”  
“Uh... hrm, I’ve never really thought about it before.” Snake looks deep in thought. “He keeps trying to kill me, but I think it’s just his way of saying ‘Hey, you’re a great friend. Let’s fight.’”  
Eva is once again dumbfounded. “Friends don’t kill each other. Usually.”  
“I’m not sure how much combat experience you’ve had personally, Eva.” Snake stretches his arms, and continues on in a snarky tone. “But it seems like war feelings to me.”  
“War feelings?”  
“You know… two men, trying to beat each other in combat… it’s like an obsession.” A fire burns in his eyes as he says it. “You get caught up in it, and you’ll stop at nothing to get back at one another.”  
“I .”  
“Just two friends, wrestling for dominance in the jungle… showing a true warrior’s spirit”  
“Snake.”  
“Two buddies, clamoring over each other... stopping at nothing to get at each other.”  
“Snake!” Eva is blushing slightly by this point, a little embarrassed. “Not to intrude, but that sounds like more than a friendship to me.”  
“Oh?”  
“I think it’s kind of, uh, well” She stops herself for a moment to choose the right words. “It seems..”  
“Oh, I know! It’s kind of like a rivalry?”  
“Snake! Your relationship is gay!” Eva shouts it out. “It’s gay! You look at him like I look at”, Eva catches herself. It must be due to the exhaustion and the high emotional stakes of the day, but she just threw it out there like it was nothing. Like it didn’t tantalize and torture her every moment she was alive.  
“…The Boss?” Snake flashed Eva a knowing smile.  
“No! Uh... that’s not what I meant!”, Eva glances at her pocket watch. “Whoops, look at the time. It’s 1am, we should be grabbing a few hours of rest before I have to head back out”  
“Eva, it’s okay.”  
“Yes. I know. Which is why we’re going to change the subject and then both head to sleep.”  
“You can’t ignore your feelings, Eva. It might compromise the mission.”  
“Ugh, well, how do you feel about telling Ocelot?”  
“How do you feel about telling The Boss?” Snake counters.  
Eva sighs. “I don’t know.”  
“Me neither”, Snake is quiet for a moment, and goes back to his stretches. It always helped him make sense of things when there was no logical course of action, but he was never one for logic anyways.  
“Goodnight, Snake” Eva is too tired to continue on, so she sets up her sleeping bag and gets ready to eat a quick bite and catch a few hours of sleep, before having to wake up again and head back out by daybreak.  
“Goodnight.” He echoes back. 

Eva awakens a few hours later, and makes sure she has enough time to head back to base and sneak back in through the sewers unnoticed. As she re-opens the sewer grate, she watches the first tinge of red light flow across the horizon. Before descending back into the entrance, she lets the remaining light of the moon dance over her cool body, and a feeling of peace and calm washes over her as she slips back into the dark corridor.

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 2 is half done already, but it's why this fic has a mature rating, so sit tight. The title is from the song "The Moon" by Cat Power.


End file.
